Have You Ever Been In Love
by BoandNora-ItsOneWord
Summary: What if Robert had told Anna why she couldn't come with him to Bern? A Two Shot Dealing with Robert and Anna's relationship before he leaves and after he comes back. AU.
1. Chapter 1

This was supposed to be a one-shot but I wanted to show what happened before Robert left for treatment too so it will be a two shot. Inspired by the song "Have You Ever Been In Love" by Peter Cetera.

**Chapter One**

It must have been at least couple of hours since she kissed him goodbye at the airport. She remembers the way he felt when he caressed her cheek and held her just a little tighter then was probably necessary. She studied his face as if she was trying to memorize every detail of him; as if she could ever forget.

"How am I supposed to go a _year_ without this Scorpio? Without at least knowing how you are?"

His lips brush across her neck, her collarbone and finally come to meet her parted lips. It was as if they stepped into another dimension of the world; one where only the two of them existed. His steady hands settle on her hips as he pulls her against his warm body, their foreheads touching and their breathing rapid. Anna lets her hand glide up his chest as he looks into her eyes.

"Please don't make this any harder than it is Luv. I would have you there with me if I could. We _both _know it would _not_ be about my recovery if you were."

"I've _never_ been good at saying goodbye Robert. How am I supposed to say goodbye to you now...now when it means _everything_?"

He takes both her cheeks in his hands and brushes the stray hair away from her face. He could spend hours just watching her like this but they did not have time. He tilts her chin upwards and leans in to kiss her again. His lips were as warm as they were demanding and soon her arms wound around his neck and the kiss deepened. It was in that moment, when they were as close as two people could ever be, when she realized that words would be inadequate to describe the emotions that swirled inside her as they kissed. She had never felt so emotionally bare.

"Don't think of it as goodbye. You know good and damn well that I will do everything in my power to fight this…to come back to you. We have not had our last song Devane. Don't you dare stop believing that?"

"_I love you Robert Scorpio. I love you so much."_

"And I _do _love you Anna Devane." _Until the end of my life and beyond. _

She threw her arms around him once more and he drew her against him, kissing her hair as he held her close. She waved goodbye as he walked to the plane and as a single tear rolled down her cheek, she closed her eyes…letting her mind replay the memories of their last kiss. It was not goodbye but it would have to sustain her for longer than she wished. _Come back to me Scorpio. Please come back._

"One Year," she whispers. "Don't you even _think_ of breaking your promise to me…I will _not _be your widow before I can be your wife again. _That's_ a promise."

She opens her eyes as the memory fades away. She has just finished her first letter to him. She might not be able to see him but she was going to spend every day of the year they have to spend apart writing him letters. If she cannot be there to offer him hope in person then she will do it the old-fashioned way.

_"Mom,_" Robin calls to her. She is back at the hospital now, letter in hand.

"I want you to make sure your father gets this. He does not want me to be there with him during his treatment and I understand that. His recovery _has _to come first. I just do not want him to lose focus. Even the strongest of people can get down."

She hands the letter to Robin and she pulls her mother close. "You're going to be doing this every day aren't you?"

"Am I that transparent," she laughs?

"Only to someone who knows you."

Anna pauses as she regards her daughter. She does not want to consider the possibility but she has to. Life has a way of breaking your heart sometimes.

"Robin, I need you to promise me something okay…if he isn't getting better…if the trial isn't working…"

"_Mom, of course I would tell you. _Dad is a stubborn man and I _know_ that he does not want us to see him that way…but he does _not_ get to decide what we do if it gets that bad. I will _not_ let him die alone. I promise you."

"Thank you Robin."

"Are you okay mom? I mean really okay?"

"I'm okay sweetheart…Or at least I will be. I have to believe your dad will come back to me. There's just no other option."

"He loves you mom. He'll fight this."

"I _know_ he will."

Robin watches her mother walk away and smiles. Her parents were in love again. If that was not something to give you hope, she did not know what was. _There were never two people more in love torn apart by bad timing and circumstances beyond their control. _If anything could give her dad the will to fight his disease, it was his love for her mother. Maybe the stars had finally aligned in a way that the timing was exactly as it should be.

She pockets the letter and sighs. This year would truly be the biggest test of their love. If anyone could do it, _they_ could


	2. Chapter 2

Obviously this is going to be longer than a two shot. lol

**Chapter Two**

There were days when she would almost convince herself that she was not thinking of him. Nights when she curled up in her bed staring at the phone, and she could almost talk herself into believing that she was not waiting for his call.

_Then there were the days like today when she simply stopped pretending that she did not miss him with every fiber of her being_. Anna always prided herself on her independence. She never needed a man to make her whole. With Robert, though, it was different. It was not so much that he completed her. It was the simple fact that he filled those empty spaces in her heart that she did not know were missing until he reentered her life. He was the missing piece of her soul; the only man she ever allowed herself to need. The fact that she needed _anyone_ scared the hell out of her. There were _so_ many nights when she wanted to run from those feelings just as she did in the past…except she was older now and she would never run from her heart ever again. Robert was her heart.

* * *

Robert was having one of his good days. He was in the third week of treatment and extremely focused. There were times when the work was exhausting and the struggle was painful but he always pushed through that by imagining Anna's face in his mind. She was his reason for living. She was the reason he was fighting so hard. Her and Robin. At the end of the day, he wanted his family back.

He was just adjusting his pillows when Robin came in with another delivery. His face brightened immediately.

"From your mother I presume."

"Who else," she states. "Unless you have _another_ secret admirer I don't know about."

"Robin there is _nothing _secret about our feelings for each other. How is she?"

"Why don't you ask her yourself Dad? She misses you."

"I miss her too…but you understand why it has to be this way for now."

"It doesn't matter what I think dad…mom understands. That's what's important right?"

_"You _are important too baby girl," he says.

_"Now _you just sound like mom."

"Well I love you Robin. I know there were _plenty_ of times when I did not deserve that love but I am trying to make up for all of that. I know I was not always there for you but…"

"Dad…_Stop it okay._ You were there when you _could_ be. I know that a lot of things were said when you came back but I forgave you and so did mom. Can we leave all this misplaced guilt in the past? I love you daddy."

"Then tell me what's on your mind?"

"I understand your decision to go through treatment alone but I don't understand you not wanting her to visit or even call. You are _not_ alone anymore dad. You need to accept the fact that there are people in this world that love you…need you even."

"Anna doesn't need _anyone_ Robin…"

"She needs _you_ Dad…or did you not listen to a word she said when we had that family discussion?"

"I heard every word."

"Okay, so what's the problem?"

Robert takes a deep breath as he looks at his daughter. He was not used to baring his soul this way. It still took every ounce of willpower for him to get the words out.

"_I don't want her to need me so much that if something happens, she won't be okay again_. She's had to watch me _'die' _more than once now…I don't want to put her through that kind of agony."

"_You can't stop that Dad…Just because you aren't in the same city right now, doesn't mean she doesn't think about you…that she doesn't worry about you…she loves you dad_. _It is not going to kill you to call her at least._ Look at all the letters she has written to you. It does not matter what is going on in her life…she still makes the time to write to you. You know why she does that. She does it because she wants you to know that she is here for you whenever you need her…that she is _still _going to be there when you are done with your treatment. More than anything she wants you to know that you are _still _her man."

"Her man huh," he says, with a little smile.

"Oh come on dad…you _know _what I mean. Just think about calling her okay. If you are in a good mood, maybe you will even think about letting her see you as I do. You know she's just going to show up one day if you don't."

"You make a good point little Scorpio," he states. "After all, I couldn't keep _you_ away."

"So you'll call her?"

"I'll call her."

"Good…Now get some rest okay. I love you."

"Can I get a hug?"

"Always," she states, as she hugs her dad as tight as he is able to stand. _She has to admit she is scared too. She does not think she could stand to lose her dad all over again. _

* * *

Robert could not sleep. He spent the last few hours trying to get comfortable and then when he finally does, thoughts of Anna fill his mind. He missed her. If he was honest with himself, it was more than that. He ached for her in a way he has never ached for another person in his life.

He knew she was probably asleep by now but he could not stop the need to hear her voice, so he simply stopped fighting it. She picked up on the first ring.

"I didn't wake you, did I," he asks.

A smile spread across her face as she stretched out on the bed. She would not tell him she was sleeping with his shirt…one that still smelled liked him.

"I wouldn't mind if you did," she answers. "I miss you."

"Oh Luv, I miss you too. It is a little hard to sleep without you and I do not know why. It has been years since we have even shared the same bed."

"I know…except I feel the same way. How are you feeling Scorpio? I've been thinking about you a lot."

"You have huh?"

"Oh wipe that stupid grin off your face. You _know_ I want you."

"It still does the old ticker good to hear that," he states.

"You're doing good right," she asks again.

"I'm doing good Annie…Or at least as good as I can be under the circumstances. I want to know about _you_. What is going on in _your _world?"

"Nothing you haven't already heard. I have to admit though, that I have been thinking more and more about retirement. I want to spend more time with our daughter. I want to be there for our upcoming grandchild. I want us to stand a real chance when you come home."

"I've been thinking of that too Annie. In order for us to have a real shot at 'happy, ever after' we have to be in the same place. I do not want to worry about having to leave you for long periods. It is not good for any relationship."

"So you want to put down roots?"

"I want to be wherever _you_ are. I want the life we did not get to live. The house, the marriage. I know we dreamed of more children but…"

"I know Robert. That's probably not a possibility anymore."

"But we have a grandchild on the way. We have each other. We have Robin. Is that enough for you?"

"It's_ more_ than enough. It is _everything_ I _ever _wanted. "

"Then I have a question for you. Maybe you could come see me tomorrow. I miss your face."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I had a talk with Robin. She thinks I was being unfair to you. She might be right. Maybe a visit wouldn't hurt."

"Oh Robert. _I love you so much_. I can't wait to see you."

"I can't wait either. Now get some sleep beautiful. I'll see you in my dreams."

"I'll see you in mine. Be good to yourself Robert."

"I already _have_ by calling _you_. You have _always_ been the _best _medicine for _anything _that ails me. Goodnight Luv. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow Scorpio," she whispers sleepily into the phone. They both keep their hands on the receiver for a few more seconds before hanging up. They fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow, thoughts of each other filling their minds.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

It was the way she looked at him that gave him strength. After all these years and all the tears, she still has that quiet way of seeing right through all of his defenses. If this were any other time, it would have made him feel weak. This time, however, it simply let him know that he was the luckiest man alive. _Anna Devane had chosen him over any other man. How could he not feel lucky?_

She stepped closer to him and handed him a package.

"What's this," he asked?

"I thought you might like to have something of mine," she said. "Since we can't be together yet," she adds.

"A woman of mystery," he says, reaching for her hand and squeezing it. She takes a seat next to him.

"I seem to recall that you _like_ mystery," she responds.

The penetrating blue of his magnetic eyes seem to hold her in place as he devours her beauty.

"The mystery of _you,_ Luv, is my favorite subject.

Anna watches as he opens the box and finds a bottle of her favorite perfume. She watches as that smile forms on his lips and he is bringing it close to his nostrils. _It smelled like her. He could not have asked for a better gift._

"Now I can have you with me whenever I close my eyes."

"I hope you don't mind that I sleep in your shirt. It smells like you."

She hears the unrestrained joy in his voice as he laughs. _He is okay, she thinks. He is really okay._

"Where on _earth_ did you find one of my shirts," he questions.

"You left one behind when you packed. I kind of stole it."

"So you _are_ still a thief," he concludes.

"That depends on the object in question," she quips.

"Well you _certainly _stole my heart. I never quite got it back."

"And you never will."

_"Good._ I'm not giving _yours_ back either."

"Good. I don't_ want_ it back."

He takes her hand and pulls her until she is sitting in his lap on the wheelchair. He smiles at her unapologetically and she touches his cheek with her smaller hand. He reaches up to undo the tie in her hair until it is cascading down her back.

"You still take my breath away," he sighs as he runs his fingers through her hair.

"Robert, I…"

_"I love you,"_ they say in unison, just before Robert takes both her cheeks in his hands and kisses her hard and deep. She is a little surprised by how quickly the kiss grows in intensity but she can feel the excitement grow with every touch. She lays her head on his shoulder and he kisses her neck.

"You smell so good Annie," he states, as he kisses her hair and breathes in her unique scent.

She wraps her arms around his neck and holds him tight. "You don't smell half bad yourself. Does that mean you are bathing yourself?"

He laughs and she is grateful that he is in good spirits today.

"Robert, seriously," she says as she caresses his cheek. "Are you really doing okay? You'd tell me if you weren't wouldn't you?"

"Don't worry so much Annie. I am okay. Don't I _look_ okay?"

"You look like the love of my life. It's a little hard to answer that truthfully."

"The love of your life huh?"

"Oh wipe that stupid grin off your face. I've told you this before."

"I know but I…"

"You didn't think I meant it did you? Robert, just because our marriage ended back then does not mean that I do not still consider you the greatest love story of my life. I do, you know. You understand me as no one else ever has. You have stood by me when I gave you no reason to. And more than that, you have loved me exactly as I am even when _I_ couldn't love me."

"I was afraid to believe it Annie. I just love you so much…"

"I know you do…and I love you just as much."

She pulls herself up, off his lap despite his best efforts to pull her closer. She needed to put some distance between them or they would risk his recovery. _She wanted him. Oh how she wanted him. But she would not risk his health for anything._

"I don't know how you manage to do all this when you are fighting cancer. What's your secret?"

He takes her and again and she kneels at his feet.

"Love," he says. "Love is my secret. In case you have not figured it out, you are the love of my life too. I want to marry you Annie. When all of this is over and I come home to you…I want to be your husband again."

"Robert," she questions, as she narrows her eyes at him. "Is there a question you want to ask me or are you just fishing?"

Anna's hand flies to cover her mouth as he pulls out a ring.

"I would get down on one knee but I don't think that's a good idea in my condition."

"Please don't Robert," she says through tears.

"I don't know what else I can offer you Annie. All I have is this old, beat up heart that was only ever complete when yours was beating beside it. I love you Anna Devane. I want to share my life with you. I want to wake up with you every morning and go to sleep with you every night. Will you marry me?"

_"Yes,_" she cries as she throws her arms around him tightly. "_Yes, I will marry you Robert Scorpio. I love you so much." _

As Robert slips the ring onto her finger, and they kiss tenderly, Robin walks into the room.

"What in the world did I walk in to? Did my parents really just get engaged?"

"You told me to talk to her Robin and you were right. After I hung up with her, I knew that I did not just want to see her again; I wanted to ask her to be mine forever. For some reason she said yes."

"That's because I love you Scorpio. Get used to it."

"And how did you get that ring so quickly," Robin questioned her father.

"I have my ways."

"In other words, you have your spy minions," Robin quipped.

"Something like that."

"Does this mean that you are going to continue pushing yourself to survive? I have heard the reports dad. They say you've been a model patient."

"Oh you have, have you," Anna asks.

"I haven't even flirted with the nurses," he jokes.

"Well you _better_ not," Anna quips, as she kisses his forehead.

"I'm serious Anna. I love you. I want you to be my last."

She smiles at him as he laces his fingers through hers. "You were my first. It's only fitting that you'd be my last."

"Okay you guys, as happy as I am for you, dad needs to rest. He has a big day tomorrow."

"Then I guess this is goodbye for now," she states.

"Do I get one more kiss," he asks.

"Close your eyes," she says to Robin, who rolls her eyes at her parents.

He caresses Anna's hair one more time as he studies her face. "_You are beautiful Annie. Just beautiful._"

He kisses her deeply and she wraps her arms around his neck and allows his tongue to slip into her mouth. When the kiss ends, their foreheads touch and they are both breathing heavily.

"Sweet Dreams Robert. Call me when you want to see me again."

"I _always_ want to see you but how about next week. I think I can only put that much time and effort into a visit. The rest has to go to my treatment. I promise I'll make it up to you when I'm back to myself."

"I wouldn't have it any other way sweetheart. You have to survive this in order to marry me. _Don't _think I'm letting you out of that promise."

"I don't _want_ out of that promise. "

She reaches into her pocket and hands him another letter. "I figured I'd deliver this one in person. Read this one in private. It's very x rated."

_"Mom,_" Robin yells.

"Sweetheart, you would not be here if your father and I did not do X-rated things…suck it up buttercup."

Robin just cocks a brow at her parents and reaches for her father's wheelchair. "Let's go dad. You have had _enough_ strenuous activity for one day."

"No sweetheart, I have not had nearly _enough,"_ he quips, as his eyes lock on Anna's.

"Sweet Dreams Luv. See you next week."

"Don't break my perfume bottle," she answers, eliciting a laugh from him. When Robert is gone, she pulls out the piece of paper in her hand. It was a letter from Robert.

The words written on the paper were short and to the point.

_I am not good at this 'feelings' thing Anna. You know that. I just want you to know that I do love you. I do appreciate you…I do need you…And I do want you madly. Thank you for not giving up on me. We get to be happy Annie. This time, we are going to get our happy._

_Your last husband_

"Third times the charm, "Anna thinks as she walks out of the clinic.

"_Your last wife,_" she adds.

This was it for them. It was their last shot. They both knew they would not get another one.

"Come back to me Robert. I'll be waiting."


End file.
